Sir Ranulph Twisleton-Wykeham-Fiennes, OBE is the world’s greatest living adventurer according to the Guinness Book of Records.  Fiennes has visited both Poles on foot, circumnavigated the globe, run seven marathons on seven continents in seven days (at the age of 61), and this year climbed Mount Everest at the age of 65.  He continues to find and achieve the extraordinary despite undergoing heart bypass surgery five years ago and having lost the ends of several fingers to frostbite (legend has it he amputated the ends himself in his shed with an electric saw).  So what are the secrets of this extraordinary adventurer?

 1.     Have a vision

Fiennes is a visionary.  He conceives astounding feats and then sets his mind to achieving them.  He has built a life and career doing the extraordinary.  Fiennes does not limit his thinking or ambition and truly believes everything is possible.  Once a vision is fully formed, he starts finding a way to make it happen.

 2.     Plan carefully

Prince Charles has sponsored several of his expeditions and described his circumnavigation of the globe as “a mad and suitably British enterprise.”  Fiennes disagrees and outlines the importance of meticulous planning, preparation and practice, adding ”These expeditions are very carefully planned and entirely feasible. Now if you were talking about, I don’t know, hopping to the south pole on a pogo stick – that would be mad. But not what I do.”

Fiennes devotes enormous amounts of time working on his mental attitude and developing his physical abilities to allow him to successfully achieve the extraordinary.  He gets the very best support teams and equipment to give him the best chance of success.  His planning is second to none in the world of exploring.

 3.     Face your Fears

Fiennes had never undertaken mountaineering until his late 50s due to vertigo and “a morbid fear of heights”.  During his life he has faced many of our most common fears head on: fear of failure, fear of isolation, fear of death.  His example in climbing the world’s highest mountain shows what is possible when you don’t let your fears hold you back from taking on new challenges and extending your comfort zone.

 4.     Keep on Trudging

During his recent Everest expedition Fiennes was asked what kept him going.  He simply replied “I just keep putting one foot in front of the other and trudging forward, thinking that there is no end point to the journey”.  Fiennes’ fierce determination comes from living in the moment rather than fixating on the end goal.

 5.     Never Give Up

Fiennes had two aborted attempts at Everest before finally conquering the peak.  In 2005 on his second attempt, Fiennes suffered a minor heart attack during his ascent.  He refused to see these attempts as failure and spoke of his “bull-headed determination” being key to finally completing a successful attempt.

 6.     Inspire others

Fiennes expeditions are all designed to support charitable organisations.  He pushes himself to help others less fortunate than himself, raising millions for good causes.  Fiennes is also a highly-sought after motivational speaker and shares his experiences with thousands of people every year.  Fiennes achievements are bigger than his own personal glory and this drives him to push on where others might give up.

So what can you learn from Sir Ranulph Twistleton-Wykeham-Fiennes, OBE?

• Create your vision – what is your next extraordinary project or achievement?  Don’t box yourself in or limit your ambition.
• Plan carefully – take the time to prepare properly – what skills do you need to develop, who can support you, what are your specific goals?
• Face your fears – what thoughts and fears might stop you?  How can you overcome them?  The right mental attitude is essential to increase your chances of success.
• Keep on Trudging – Stay in the present and focus on the next step rather than fixating on the end point.  Give each small step your full focus.
• Never give up – an unsuccessful attempt is not a failure.  Take time to work out what you learnt and what you’ll do differently next time.
• Inspire others – share your vision and achievements with others and inspire them to do the extraordinary.

Yesterday was Father’s Day and this year, my thoughts took me well beyond the requisite Hallmark card sentiment of love and thanks to the impact my dad has had, and continues to have, on me.

This winter as I considered leaving my safe and stable corporate life for entrepreneurship I was surrounded by many naysayers. But among all those negative voices, one rose above and kept me afloat.  And it usually began with, “so…I’ve been thinking…” Such simple words yet I’ve learned they carry with them a gift every time they’re uttered.

At a time when my fear of failure outweighed my desire for change, my dad said to me, “so I’ve been thinking…if you work with your clients to take risks and make big changes in their careers and lives, shouldn’t you be willing to do the same thing?” 

I was blown over.  He nailed it.  This from a man that I had hardly given credit to for fully understanding my career as a coach. In one line, he said more to me and did more to boost my confidence in my decision than anyone had in the months leading up to that day.

Weeks later, his positive reinforcement continued. I got a call out of the blue – “so, I’ve been thinking…now is the right time for you to take this risk and see what you can make of it.  There is a lot of negativity out there but if you can help people get back on their feet you will be doing a great thing.  The world needs people like you helping out right now.”  When I enthusiastically agreed and shared my fear of failure, he said confidently, “You can’t fail, you can only learn from this.”  His confidence in me was like a safety net, a security blanket.  I was getting braver.

The week I resigned corresponded with my birthday.  A package arrived from my dad with two books in it. One was Home-Based Business for Dummies and the others was Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz, M.D., F.I.C.S.  I immediately understood the Dummies book but was unsure about Psycho-Cybernetics. I assumed it was something “coachy” he found online and thought I would be interested in.

A couple days later he called to see if I’d gotten it.

“So, what do you think about Psycho-Cybernetics?” 

Well, I flipped though it; it seems interesting.

“Did I ever tell you about this book?” 

No. 

“I read this book when I was 22 and it was the most influential book I’d ever read.  Its shaped the way I look at life ever since.  It’s about how your mindset is powerful and helps you be successful.  So I thought that since you were just starting out in your business, it was important for you to remember that.”

I could hardly comprehend what I was hearing. My eyes filled with tears.  Not only had he never mentioned this life altering experience but here he was sharing so simply and eloquently his key to a successful and fulfilling life.

My dad isn’t the kind of guy you’d say had a charmed life.  He grew up making due with what his two deaf parents could provide.  He spent over 30 years working as a repairman for Sears always knowing he was capable of more but too afraid to risk the home and life he was providing for his family.  Yet each day, he saw to it that he found something to enjoy.  A moment with my mom, a catch with my brothers, a chat with me about what I dreamed of becoming one day, a laugh with friends, a walk in nature.  What others may have seen as the life a blue-collar man was the life of a rich man to my dad.  It wasn’t lavish, it most likely wasn’t all he ever dreamed of for himself, but it was all he needed.

Consciously or not, my father taught me these lessons – the importance of my outlook, to trust in myself, to always see the positive and what can be done.   So instead of tickets to the ball game or an off the rack greeting card, this Father’s Day I want to say more than thanks.  I want him to have the acknowledgement he deserves.

As I stepped to the edge and made the leap with his supportive hand in mine, I knew I was not only fulfilling my lifelong dream but part of his as well. More than anyone, he helped make it possible.

Inspiration found me at 6am today.  On our daily morning walk, my friend Jane confirmed she’s leaving her job for what she’s calling a “self-imposed sabbatical.”

Layoffs were running rampant at her company and when the news came that they would affect her department, she did the unexpected and welcomed its arrival. Instead of finding a new role, she’s grabbing at the chance of taking a deep breath and finally figuring out how she wants to raise her family and have the life she wants to lead along with a career that fits into and supports her life, not consume it.

Many of you know someone like Jane or maybe you even see yourself in her.  A young, intelligent, rising star that was always full of energy and ideas to change business as usual.  She lit up a room and had the natural grace and insight that drew you in and made you determined to find out her secret.  A quick rise up the corporate ladder, national leadership roles, keynote-speaking engagements and a growing family – nothing seemed to stop her.  Or so it seemed.

About a year ago, her light began to fade. You could see exhaustion in her eyes; hear a bit of forced cheer in her voice.  Restructuring had pushed her into a role she no longer had passion for and the economic downturn seemed to close any door to change. The silent questioning had begun – is this what life is all about?  Does the company I work for support what I value?  Can I really make a difference?

Yet something got in the way of leaving the job before this point.  A “friend “we all know and love – Fear.  Its voice was strong – “you need this job.  You have to pay the bills.  You’re lucky to have a job.  Do you know how many people would kill to have what have?  You’ll never find another job making this much money or flexibility.  You’ve only ever worked at this one company, after more than a decade at one company, you won’t be successful anywhere else. Its too hard to start over.”

When I asked her about what happened and how she found the courage to face the layoff with hope, she shared that the day had simply come and she knew it.  The risk of staying was growing greater than the risk of going. And the risk of jumping into a new job right away was greater than the risk of taking some much-needed self-care. She was burnt out and to continue on the way she was would lead only to more exhaustion.  Taking time to care for herself, to re-evaluate what was most important to her and align her life in a way that honors those values was the way she could find her light again.

When in alignment, the extraordinary is possible.  There is an ease and grace in all you do.  Work becomes an authentic expression of who you are and what you’re passionate about.   

Aligning Your Life for Extraordinary Results

What are your top 5 values?

Who are you and what can you accomplish when you are aligned with your values?

Where is your life out of alignment?

What 3 things can you change in your work or life to honor your values?

Reading Time: 1 minute and 30 seconds                      

Sometimes it’s the little things that make the biggest difference.  Last week, Central London was in the grip of a Tube strike with stressed out commuters everywhere.  Between meetings I found myself in Pret à Manger a big sandwich shop in Covent Garden and a regular hang out for tourists and ne’er-do-wells such as myself.  To be fair I had made my sandwich last way too long, and my chair was developing permanent grooves from my occupation.  Out of the blue, a smiling team member approached me and I have to admit I thought he was going to ask me to leave and clear space for a real customer.

With a grin he asked, “would you like a tea or coffee sir?”.  “Ahh, I get it, time to pay up or get out ,“ I thought to myself.   “Oh no, sir – we just want to show appreciation for our customers – this one is on us” he replied.  This was a small, unexpected gesture that meant lot on such a tough day.  I’ve always been a fan of Pret à Manger, and now I’ll be back there regularly.

Sometimes it is the smallest gestures that are the most appreciated and most extraordinary.   These little things show you going beyond the ordinary and really caring about someone else.  So how can you do this in your life?

1. Over-delivering 

Over-delivering your promises is one way to create lasting relationships and have people coming back to you time and again.  Think about what you can do to show appreciation to your clients, your customers, your employees, team-mates and colleagues.   A courtesy phone-call, a note, or a free offer can all make a big impact.  Determine what can make you really stand out – and deliver it.

2. The Unexpected

Equally importantly, doing something unexpected for someone can create huge loyalty.  An unbidden good turn creates a real sense of surprise and also a deeper sense of obligation.  Reciprocation is one of the unwritten rules which underpins society.  You may be surprised at the returns that your unexpected good turn may bring.  Giving unexpectedly is a way to show you are exceptional and to create strong and long relationships with others.

So, do sweat the small stuff.  Pay special attention to the most important people in your life, career and business.  Think of the little ways to surpass their expectations and keep surprising them with how exceptional you are.  A free coffee really can go a long way.

Less is More Extraordinary – Terminator Salvation

 You may be wondering what the movie Terminator Salvation has to do with living an extraordinary life.  It’s simple really, when presented with limited options; our choice can be a gateway to the less than ordinary experience of deep appreciation and greater satisfaction.

My husband and I spent the past week at his family’s lake house in the Adirondack Mountains of NY. It was just the two of us taking some much needed time to recharge our batteries.  We had little plans other than reading, walking, talking, hiking, kayaking, and enjoying the incredible nature and wildlife that surrounded us. But as Friday rolled around, we thought we’d head into town, mingle with other people and see a movie. 

The Strand movie theater in Schroon, NY has one screen.  It plays one movie a week and has 3 showings – Friday, Saturday and Sunday at 8pm.  This weekend, it was Terminator Salvation.

I have always had a belief that more possibilities are better.  It helps us to feel less trapped and more in control of where our lives are heading.  But that belief was challenged this week at the movies.  There I was, making the choice to see a movie I otherwise wouldn’t have (summer blockbuster action films are typically not my thing). Yet I can say I was truly happy in the theater watching Terminator Salvation and enjoying myself more than I would have had I had my choice of 16 different movies playing at 5 local theaters, at my choices of at least 100 different show times throughout the day. 

Why was this I wondered?  And then it hit me – sometimes less really is more.  With all those choices typically in front of us, we have to make the perfect choice – that’s what all those options imply is attainable, right?  We can’t be happy unless it’s the right theater, the right time and the right movie. 

But I noticed sitting there at the Strand that night how the limit of choice allowed me to fully appreciate the little things about the experience.  The friendly projectionist who also sold us our tickets, the $1 bottle of water, the restored art deco interior, the old piano up by the screen left over from the days of silent films, the conversations amongst us movie-goers (aka strangers) as we left the film.  And I have to admit, I allowed myself to be entertained by the movie.  Was it great film? Certainly not.  But on that night, it was perfectly extraordinary.  

I walked away with a reminder of a valuable lesson. Seeing possibilities and feeling at choice is not about collecting a laundry list of options and trying to find the perfect combination.  Choice is about seeing what’s in front of us – even if it appears to be an undesirable option – and choosing how to be in relation with it.  Happiness and satisfaction can come to us in the most unexpected of ways if we allow it.   

Bring Less is More to Your Own Life

Where in your life or work are you stuck and feeling like you will never find the perfect choice? 

How can you see the options in front of you with new eyes and appreciate the satisfaction they can bring you?  

 

The Strand

Its nearly the weekend Extraordinary readers! Take some inspiration this weekend by surprising someone special in your life with a call, flowers, a date, doing something new and fun.

 

Purple Cow

 

 

Extraordinary Passion – Find your Purple Cow           

Reading Time – 2 minutes 45 seconds

What on earth does a Purple Cow have to do with being exceptional?  This question came up on a recent visit to the Business Start Up Show in London last week.  The place was rammed with stalls trying to sell every product and service under the sun.  Yet only one or two stands really stood out from the crowd. 

What was the difference?  These stands were engagingly put together, with a clear and consistent brand message and manned by passionate people who loved what they did.  They were vibrant, energetic and had the X Factor.  This experience reminded me of the book Purple Cow by Seth Godin.

Seth Godin is a marketing guru and blogger from California (http://sethgodin.typepad.com/).  His book The Purple Cow focuses on the importance of companies being remarkable.  The theory was conceived driving through France, where Godin saw thousands of regular black and white cows.  Suddenly, Godin saw an advert for Milka Chocolate with a Purple Cow and his attention was grabbed by something remarkable and different. 

With seven billion people on the planet, we face stiff competition for every job and opportunity.  Godin’s point is that you need to create a personal or corporate brand that captures the attention of your desired employer or customer.  The brand must reflect who you are , your passion and be truly memorable.  Purple Cows get your ideal customer, colleague or employer salivating with excitement – they want to meet you, buy from you, hire you.

So how do you find YOUR Purple Cow?

1) Purple Cows have energy and excitement.  Finding and doing what you are passionate about makes you stand out.  I met some salespeople at the show who could barely stifle a yawn as they told me about their “amazing” services.  When you meet someone who loves what they do, their passion is truly infectious and memorable.  Purple Cows have Passion!

2) Purple Cows stand out from the crowd.  What can you do that goes above and beyond expectations? Showing creativity, tenacity and a will to exceed expectations will mark you out and make others want to have you around.  Think about your most memorable service experience (at a restaurant, on an airline, at a bank) and how that made you feel.  What made it stand out in your mind so you still remember it?  Standing out from the crowd consistently will create an aura and be part of your Purple Cow.

3) Purple Cows are consistent.  They have an eye-catching appeal and continually deliver the same message.  What is your key message to the world?  Repeat it over and over again in a consistent manner.  Milka have used the same Purple Cow for decades to promote their product, and everything they do is coloured purple.  They even went so far as to paint cows purple for an advertising stunt in Paris (see inset picture).  Being consistent and persistent will burn your brand onto people’s memories and allow you to be remarkable.

 

Exercise – Find your Purple Cow

• What are you passionate about?
• What do you want to tell the world about you?
• What is your Purple Cow – how do you tell the world in a way that they will remember?
• What are the first steps to creating your Purple Cow?

 

Finding your Purple Cow is a major way to start building an extraordinary life and business.  Your Purple Cow will make you stand out from the competition, give you an edge in promoting yourself and make you plain remarkable.  We’d love to hear your comments on your Purple Cow  and how you tell the world about it.

I’ve come to notice that in work and in life, we are often focused on solving problems. That’s what people are asking for when they come to us for advice and it’s how we feel we help them. Yet have you ever noticed how you can help someone resolve an issue only to have it come back over and over again? Or that someone comes asking for help with a problem only to react that that don’t like being ‘told what to do’. 

What if we were to do something out of the ordinary?  Change our approach?  Go one step further, and give the people coming to us something bigger than they knew possible?  Shift our perspective towards looking for potential vs. looking for problems?  It would be a powerful new way to add value.

Let’s start with some definitions from The American Heritage® Dictionary

Problem: Any question or matter involving doubt, uncertainty, or difficulty. Difficult to deal with or control.  

Potential:  Possible, as opposed to actual; the inherent ability or capacity for growth, development, or coming into being.  Something possessing the capacity for growth or development.

Here are two simple ways two can begin looking for potential:

1. Giving An A

In the book, The Art of Possibility, Rosamund Stone Zander & Benjamin Zander share a simple way to shift perceptions that’s borrowed from the life lessons of grading students in class.  What if everyone was an A student?  How would you view them and shift your expectations of them?  

In doing this you find yourself speaking to people not from a place of measuring how they stack up against your standards, but from a place of respect that gives them room to realize themselves.  It gives others a possibility to live into versus an expectation to live up to.  The freely given A expresses a vision of partnership, teamwork and relationship.  Remember, you can’t change people, but you have the power to change the relationship between you.

TO DO:  Every time you interact with people start off by giving them an A in your mind – set aside past interactions and any judgments you might have and credit them with the best intentions.

2.      Listen for and point out the special gifts or talents others bring to their challenging situation.

Most of us just listen for what we need from others.  Or we’re waiting for the opportunity to solve the problem and move on.  This often leads us into seeing others as problems and puts them in a box – they’re wrong, we’re right; they’re broken and we have to fix them. 

On the surface, it feels like solving their problem is what they want, what you should do.  But if you dig deeper you will find that you have robbed them of knowing their power and their gifts. 

TO DO:  First, listen for the strengths the individual brings to the table.  (For example, someone brings a very detailed and thorough approach to their work.)

Then point out these strengths to the person.  (“Wow, it sounds like you have really done your homework and gathered a vast amount details around making this decision.”)

Lastly, reinforce their strengths and empower them to take action on their own.  (“What do you know to be true based on all that you’ve gathered?  What do you think is the best path to choose?  What more, if anything, do you need to consider?”)

The people around us are creative and resourceful.  Help them to know this and you will affect them profoundly in that moment and for much time to come.  They will start to see themselves as potential and not problems.  They will know their value and will become empowered to take ownership.

Your Call To Action: Shift your perspective from problems to potential; Grant an A to everyone you encounter.  Look for and acknowledge their potential and watch what happens!

Reading time : 2 minutes 15 seconds

What do the following people have in common? Mahatma Gandhi helping to bring about an independent Indian state and my friend Gareth who ran the London Marathon for the Alzheimer Research Charity? The answer is that they have both done extraordinary things that surpassed their expectations of what was possible. What allowed these amazing people to be successful? One key part of the answer is their absolute commitment to achieving their vision.

Commitment means dedicating time and energy to a purpose or goal. Commitment requires focus, determination, overcoming setbacks and boundless enthusiasm. It requires springing out of bed on a cold January morning to pound the pavements in the rain. It involves risking your own life and liberty for a cause you believe in. Committing 100% is not a magic bullet for success, however it means never stopping in pursuit of a goal and that makes success much more likely.

Commitment is underpinned by having a clear set of beliefs and values and sticking to them. Gareth was driven on through his tough training and the 26 miles by the importance of the cause to his family and by the commitment he made to his sponsors. Gandhi believed in equality, justice and civil rights for all and this drove his actions with absolute conviction. These underlying values provide the motivation and energy that fuel the boundless pursuit of success.

Take a moment to think about your life right now and ask your self these questions:

• What are you using your time, energy and amazing talents on?
• Which three areas are most important to you?
• What are the values or beliefs that make each area so important to you?
• For each important area of your life, how committed are you at the moment (on a scale of 1% to 100%)?
• What would it look or feel like to increase your commitment by 5% to 10% in each area?
• What is the first thing that you could do differently to increase your commitment level?

You have the potential to be extraordinary in every part of your life and commitment is the fuel to fulfil this potential. Commit to making the changes you identified in at least one area of your life for the next month and see what difference that commitment can make.

Extraordinary living – Creating balance

Reading time: 3 minutes

Many extraordinary people find themselves living in a constant state of chaos. This is a normal and common state in our global, information age, particularly for ambitious, creative and imaginative people. Descriptions of this state include running from crisis to crisis and juggling endless demands. It can seem like being a twig in a raging river, living without any choice as to what happens. This state of being often leads to frayed emotions, a lack of focus and a feeling of having no control.

Moving from this chaos to a more balanced state of being can pay huge dividends. It can help to increase the energy available to address professional and personal challenges. More energy allows a better prioritisation of actions. Importantly, a better balance often also leads to improved emotional wellbeing and a sense of being more in control.

Making this transition requires assessing the current situation and identifying some of the key reasons for the chaos. These reasons often include failure to prioritise, over-committing and having a lack of boundaries. Other common reasons include neglecting to take care of oneself and simply not taking time to stop and reflect on a regular basis. Take a few minutes if you can to reflect on what creates chaos in your life.

The next step in making this transition is to create practices to address the reasons identified. Some suggestions would include:

Prioritizing: Take 30 minutes at the start of each week to identify all tasks and projects you are facing both personal and professional. Prioritise each task as; A (absolutely critical to be done this week), B (would be nice to complete this week), C (if this doesn’t get done, no serious consequences). Focus each day on completing your A tasks, and only move on to B once all your As are completed. This half hour will really help to identify what needs to be done and save much time in the long run.
Over-committing: Practice saying “NO”. Saying no can be very difficult. Pick a day over the next few weeks when you will say no to every request (except where this could get you fired or divorced!). Prepare different ways of saying no nicely (for example, “I really can’t, sorry – I just have too much on”). Stay strong and you’ll be better prepared to say no in the future.

Self-care: It is important to care for yourself before you are able to care for others and failure to do so can lead to poor health and negative emotions. The “Magic Bullet” is a great guideline for looking after your body and mind. This recommends 7 to 8 hours sleep every night, exercise 3 to 4 times a week and regular breathing practice or meditation. Pick one area and focus on getting up to the recommended level. This may take time to learn and develop. As you adopt these guidelines you’ll find that your energy levels increase leading to more balance in your life.

You may want to commit to one of these practices or design one of your own. Making a commitment to change is a powerful way of taking control and starting to move from a chaotic to a more balanced life.  Creating a more balanced existence frees up time, space and energy for what makes you truly extraordinary.